Friday, May 17
May 20th marks my YouTube anniversary. Two years ago on this day, I uploaded my first ever YouTube video. Although I can joke and laugh at myself, theres definitely a meaning behind many first videos. I cringe sooo badly now, but it's amazing how different the girl in that video was to the girl I am today.
If I'm honest, I'm not quite sure exactly what made me upload my first video, but I'm so glad I did. I started on Tumblr (which is still live and I often come back to it) but it gave me lots of inspiration and distracted me from revision for my A Levels. At the time, I was in a difficult relationship, I'd lost all my school friends, I was coping with my parents divorce and I hadn't settled into my new college very well. Everything in my life at that point felt wrong. Tumblr gave me the chance to switch off and I'd spend hours and hours 're-posting' pictures that inspired me. I then noticed my interest in make up and beauty products and with this in mind, it wasn't long until I stumbled across the YouTube beauty community and created 'brogantatexo'.
I don't know why but I was under the impression that if you made videos, you also had a blog. I created mine together, but spent the first few months focusing on videos before appreciating how much I loved writing too. If you knew me before my videos existed, you'd NEVER think I'd be the type of person to create them. I hated acting (I was backstage for almost every production throughout school), I didn't like giving speeches or speaking aloud, and I was usually the person behind the camera taking the photographs. But there was something so comforting about sitting in my bedroom, talking to a camera, and off-loading about how I felt.
I appreciate this might sound cliche, but YouTube has changed my life. Not only in the sense that I now spend a small portion of my week creating content for you, but in many other ways too. It's given me skills in photography, editing, lighting and filming. It's given me friends I'll hopefully have for life (despite the distance we live apart!). It's given me confidence in myself. It's given me a platform to create my own business. It supported me financially when I wasn't working. It's given me a boost when applying and landing a new job/career. It's given me the chance to work with some fantastic brands and companies. It's opened invites for events and meet ups. It's given me a hobby and passion. It's given me the opportunity to hold memories and watch them back. It's made me appreciate how much I've changed. But most importantly, it reminds me of who I am.
During this process, I've left behind an old chapter in my life and the things that came with that, and believe I've grown into more of an adult. So much has changed since I uploaded that video, but really it's only me that really knows that.
Now, as I've hit the biggest milestone I could have ever of dreamt of, I'm smiling so much because it's such a sense of achievement.
Here's to 10,000 subscribers! Thank you so very much.
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